Seeing truth through pain

It's no secret that most of us choose not to deal with a lot of thoughts and emotions that cause us pain. I honestly believe that some of that is healthy. Like our brains way of protecting us, too much negative emotion can be very damaging. So your brain will just compartmentalize the stuff until we are more ready to deal with it. It's amazing to me because this stuff never actually goes away our brain just hides it from us for a time, for lack of a better phrase. What an amazing brain we have right?

I used to think that if I just ignore things long enough they will eventually go away. What actually happens is it all gets stored up and then one day your "vault" just bursts and all that yucky shit just comes streaming out. More often then not it will land on someone you love very much, and will hurt them in a way that you can never take back. There is nothing healthy about this process and its not until its too late that you realize exactly what has happened.

Only then can you start to rebuild yourself on a new foundation. Those that chose to stick around will now be your greatest allies in this journey. I have personally been very blessed with some of the most amazing people a person can ask for. I have to say the old cliché that, "you don't know who your real friends are until you fall", is most definitely accurate in every sense of the meaning. There is another cliché that I actually loathe but cannot deny its truth, that is "you must hit bottom before you can rise". It all comes down to the mean ass ugly truth, our brains are not meant to store so much negative emotions for a long period of time.

Hence that it why we have so many amazing people who spend their time and money to learn about this shit to help us process properly. Counselors, psychiatrists, therapists, and psycho therapists. They are probably the most under used resource of our time. When you find the right one the future becomes more attainable, your life starts to make sense, you build up relationships that were once broken, and you can actually process bad emotions so that they don't stay in your brain and cause the blow up later down the road.

I know that I don't have a degree in anything so just know that I am talking from own experiences. I don't claim to know everything but what I have learned I feel an overwhelming need to share with anyone who will listen. I am 39 years old....I will be 40 in just 6 months. I am just now starting scratch the surface of many things that should have been dealt with many many years ago. I have damaged relationships, some of them permanently. I have made many mistakes as a parent, friend, and wife. Even with all the remorse in the world you cannot take things away. I wish that I could but I have learned how to move past that desire and focus on things that are plausible. Living my life in a better way, treating people with more tolerance, and excepting some things that I have no control over.

 

I will end this entry with a simple truth. You are worth whatever it takes to help you feel better. Your true friends know that you are worth it and you need to let them in. The sweet release of negative emotion when you receive an honest hug, take them whenever they are offered. You can actually accomplish so much more when you seek and accept help. Contrary to old belief, it proves that you are stronger when you accept the fact that you need some help from time to time. Trying to achieve everything on your own is just foolish and a sincere waste of time. I find it so bizarre that we have become such cold isolated people when it comes to our own well being. We are made to love each other and support each other. It was God's plan from the beginning and yet we have some how found ourselves in this ugly time where everyone is mostly concerned about themselves.