It was a beautiful sunny day in lovely Angels Camp, California. No work that day, it was my day off and I was thinking about going to the pool to swim around to cool off. Now of course as with most days I started the day smoking a big fat J and eating a bag of Doritos for lunch.
Got some friends together, got high and off the pool we went. Now honestly I thought I was a fricken genius for coming up with this idea, however it turned out to be the exact opposite.
I swear everyone in town was at the pool that afternoon. Kids, adults, and even a few babies. I told my boyfriend to make sure not to lose me...I had a tendency to forget where I was and wander when stoned out of my mind. Funny now but then a little scary.
We had been at the pool an hour or so and while wading in the shallow end because swimming while high is not really recommended. After a few minutes or hours or whatever I start looking around for my boyfriend or one of my friends. I can't find anyone that looks familiar, oh shit!! Where did everyone go?! I can't see anything the sun is so bright and reflecting off the water right into my stoned red eyes. So I put my hands up over my eyes to block the sun like the bill of a baseball hat would do. Now this helped but I was still having some serious issues trying to see across the pool. So then I took my thumbs and curled them under my eyes in hopes of deflecting the sun coming up from the water. Holy crap I was a genius again!! I could see and it was like I had super eyes. Then as I was scanning the pool I found my boyfriend way at the other end. He was looking at me and laughing so hard. I started yelling, "Hey! Do you see me?" He was like, "Yes I see you dumb ass! Are those your binoculars?" It was in that moment that I realized exactly what I must look like. A grown ass woman standing in the shallow end of the pool with a bunch of little kids, and I have my hands around my eyes like binoculars. Scanning the pool like a hunter looking for prey...I was so intense and mildly scared that I didn't even think about the appearance of things.
I took my hands down and was instantly blinded and again I could not see anything. It was in that moment I realized I needed my binoculars to get over the other side of the pool. So I put them back on and waded over to my friends. Once I got there I was so relieved. That's when everyone was asking me where I got my binoculars, could they borrow them, and how nice they were. Meh...we all laughed and then I got out to sit in the shade where I could see normal again.
That is the day I put on my super binoculars!
Got some friends together, got high and off the pool we went. Now honestly I thought I was a fricken genius for coming up with this idea, however it turned out to be the exact opposite.
I swear everyone in town was at the pool that afternoon. Kids, adults, and even a few babies. I told my boyfriend to make sure not to lose me...I had a tendency to forget where I was and wander when stoned out of my mind. Funny now but then a little scary.
We had been at the pool an hour or so and while wading in the shallow end because swimming while high is not really recommended. After a few minutes or hours or whatever I start looking around for my boyfriend or one of my friends. I can't find anyone that looks familiar, oh shit!! Where did everyone go?! I can't see anything the sun is so bright and reflecting off the water right into my stoned red eyes. So I put my hands up over my eyes to block the sun like the bill of a baseball hat would do. Now this helped but I was still having some serious issues trying to see across the pool. So then I took my thumbs and curled them under my eyes in hopes of deflecting the sun coming up from the water. Holy crap I was a genius again!! I could see and it was like I had super eyes. Then as I was scanning the pool I found my boyfriend way at the other end. He was looking at me and laughing so hard. I started yelling, "Hey! Do you see me?" He was like, "Yes I see you dumb ass! Are those your binoculars?" It was in that moment that I realized exactly what I must look like. A grown ass woman standing in the shallow end of the pool with a bunch of little kids, and I have my hands around my eyes like binoculars. Scanning the pool like a hunter looking for prey...I was so intense and mildly scared that I didn't even think about the appearance of things.
I took my hands down and was instantly blinded and again I could not see anything. It was in that moment I realized I needed my binoculars to get over the other side of the pool. So I put them back on and waded over to my friends. Once I got there I was so relieved. That's when everyone was asking me where I got my binoculars, could they borrow them, and how nice they were. Meh...we all laughed and then I got out to sit in the shade where I could see normal again.
That is the day I put on my super binoculars!
LMFAO!!!
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