So I was eating a salad and I shit you not the cucumbers were dancing and laughing at me.
Now let's go back a few hours so this will actually make sense for ya'll. I was very young and out on my own experimenting with lots of things. One of those would be shrooms, yes taste like shit but send you on the trip of your life, shrooms.
The night started out pretty mellow in our little bungalow apartment in Angels Camp, California. I am not certain how we decided to eat the shit but never the less we did. Shortly after digestion I went into the restroom and as I sat down I look into the stand up shower and I shit you not the walls were moving. I came running out with my pants still down yelling, "omg the fucking shower is breathing!!" I trip over my pants and my ass says hello to all my friends in the room. I bust up laughing along with everyone else and realize I can totally pull up my pants now. This was just the beginning of my night.
We decide to go up to Perkins just up the road and get something to eat. We are not really hungry but for whatever reason it just sounded like a good idea. As we are walking through the little alley to get to the main road the walls are very tall and textured somewhat. With the light shining down from the upper corner shadows were everywhere along the wall. Before I realized I had stopped walking and was staring at the wall for about 5 minutes, I hear my friends calling my name telling me to get moving. Again weirdness comes and I swear that there are faces in the wall, and they are trying to get out. Imagine if you have seen Friday the 13th when all the souls that Freddy had captured are trying to get out of him, and he rips open his shirt. You can see all the faces...that's exactly what it looked like to me. I started crying like literally crying and saying that people have died right here. Everyone was laughing at me again, go figure. I am convinced that what I see is real but it's time to move on because they will find peace eventually. At least that is what I told myself.
Finally we get to Perkins and we go in, trying to act normal, very badly by the way. We all sit down and the little lady brings us water and menus. These menus are the tri-fold ones that you see everywhere and somehow I grabbed the one corner and swoosh it was open! I felt like some kind of ninja or something. I could actually hear that swoosh sound when I opened the menu. I have no idea what I even want to eat so I just order the cucumber salad. Felt like an eternity before it finally got to our table but when it did I will never forget what happened. As I sit there I start to hear this giggling and like scratchy noise. I look down at my salad and the cucumbers are arranged so perfectly and symmetrical on my salad. Then I notice that they start shifting, like twitching. I was like wtf...and so I concentrated and thought there was no way this could be possible. They started to move more and more. Oh my sweet hell they were dancing! They were also giggling, like at me. Like that creepy fucking jack in the box toy when it finally pops out. So I did what any rational person would do, I picked one up and chucked it across the table. I felt a great need to get these evil little bastards away from me. I picked up another and another, flinging them like little frisbee's across the table. I look around the table and see little cucumbers everywhere and some of them had ranch on them so you can imagine the mess I made. So funny to this day I cannot see cucumbers without thinking about this day.
So you see folks some good stories can start with a salad!
Now let's go back a few hours so this will actually make sense for ya'll. I was very young and out on my own experimenting with lots of things. One of those would be shrooms, yes taste like shit but send you on the trip of your life, shrooms.
The night started out pretty mellow in our little bungalow apartment in Angels Camp, California. I am not certain how we decided to eat the shit but never the less we did. Shortly after digestion I went into the restroom and as I sat down I look into the stand up shower and I shit you not the walls were moving. I came running out with my pants still down yelling, "omg the fucking shower is breathing!!" I trip over my pants and my ass says hello to all my friends in the room. I bust up laughing along with everyone else and realize I can totally pull up my pants now. This was just the beginning of my night.
We decide to go up to Perkins just up the road and get something to eat. We are not really hungry but for whatever reason it just sounded like a good idea. As we are walking through the little alley to get to the main road the walls are very tall and textured somewhat. With the light shining down from the upper corner shadows were everywhere along the wall. Before I realized I had stopped walking and was staring at the wall for about 5 minutes, I hear my friends calling my name telling me to get moving. Again weirdness comes and I swear that there are faces in the wall, and they are trying to get out. Imagine if you have seen Friday the 13th when all the souls that Freddy had captured are trying to get out of him, and he rips open his shirt. You can see all the faces...that's exactly what it looked like to me. I started crying like literally crying and saying that people have died right here. Everyone was laughing at me again, go figure. I am convinced that what I see is real but it's time to move on because they will find peace eventually. At least that is what I told myself.
Finally we get to Perkins and we go in, trying to act normal, very badly by the way. We all sit down and the little lady brings us water and menus. These menus are the tri-fold ones that you see everywhere and somehow I grabbed the one corner and swoosh it was open! I felt like some kind of ninja or something. I could actually hear that swoosh sound when I opened the menu. I have no idea what I even want to eat so I just order the cucumber salad. Felt like an eternity before it finally got to our table but when it did I will never forget what happened. As I sit there I start to hear this giggling and like scratchy noise. I look down at my salad and the cucumbers are arranged so perfectly and symmetrical on my salad. Then I notice that they start shifting, like twitching. I was like wtf...and so I concentrated and thought there was no way this could be possible. They started to move more and more. Oh my sweet hell they were dancing! They were also giggling, like at me. Like that creepy fucking jack in the box toy when it finally pops out. So I did what any rational person would do, I picked one up and chucked it across the table. I felt a great need to get these evil little bastards away from me. I picked up another and another, flinging them like little frisbee's across the table. I look around the table and see little cucumbers everywhere and some of them had ranch on them so you can imagine the mess I made. So funny to this day I cannot see cucumbers without thinking about this day.
So you see folks some good stories can start with a salad!
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