Skip to main content

Judgement

There are only a few things in this life anymore that really get to me. Being lied to, and being judged.

Judgement by definition is:an opinion or decision that is based on careful thought: the act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision after careful thought: the act of judging something or someone:the ability to make good decisions about what should be done. 


Now reading this definition I am quite certain that a lot of people are not carefully considering their thoughts prior to judging someone. Let me clarify before I am scrutinized, I am not perfect. I myself have been guilty of unfair judgement many many times and it was not until recently that I have been shown the impact that can have on people. I was ashamed of myself to be honest and I could not believe the way I had been thinking. I guess it takes personal experience to really have shit sink in. Sad but that seems the best way that I learn...story of my life.

What is this chicks point already? If you have read any of my other posts you would know that I ramble and if you are lucky enough to actually know me and talk to me then you know its just how I am.

Point is this...if you have not experienced a part of life that someone else may or may not be going through, you have no clue and should quite frankly shut your fucking mouth! When I am talking to people sometimes about my daughter or just something I read on mental illness or scientific discoveries; I often feel as though the person I am talking to thinks that I am full of shit. Not because of what I am saying but mental illness in general, as if it's not real ya know. So I find myself starting to put my guard up and stop talking. Then I realize that is not going to help anyone, I need to be a voice for those that don't have one like my daughter. It's not easy to be vulnerable and talk about this shit, but the more I do it the easier it gets. I am starting to realize my ability to gain attention and entertain people is going to be used for this purpose. Judge me I don't care! Judge my daughter and I will verbally bash the crap out of you.


Judgement of a child is the most chicken shit judgement to me. Seriously your going to sit on your pedestal and pass judgement on a child? Wow good for you. Then you pass on your wonderfulness to the parents of the judged child. Educate your damn selves people. Read the damn bible already. Remember the Golden Rule. Look in the fucking mirror. Put your hand on your chest, you feel that? No, well my bad your dead inside. Yes, you do! Oh that's your heart beat part of what makes you a human being. Being human means that you are absent of perfection, yes I know that might be difficult to hear, but alas it is true. Now think about this for a minute. Every single mistake you have ever made, every time you were unkind to someone you didn't even know, or to someone you did know, and any time where you knew you were doing the wrong thing and did it anyway. Yeah I know it stings a little but your will survive. You know you were judged in most if not all of those moments right? How did that feel? Pretty damn shitty right? Than why in the hell would you want to return that feeling to anyone, especially a child. When you pass your judgement on a child you are oblivious to the damage that is actually being done.


I can't tell you how many times I would be so irritated at the store when a lady was letting her kid scream his heart out and whack her over and over. I would think that she needed to straighten him out or do something. Or looking at the lady in front me with her sweatpants and dirty ass kids that looked straight out the trailer park, buying twinkies and pizzas with her food stamps; thinking that she was making poor decision with state funds and if she wasn't working how in the hell did she not have time to bathe herself and her kids. Seeing promiscuous young girls showing too much skin and acting like mini hookers, thinking OMG where are their parents and how could they allow their daughters to go out in public looking like that.

Here's the light bulb folks! That first kid in the store has autism and does not have communication skills like most kids his age. He is not stupid, he is brilliant actually. Just as this is frustrating for his mom, he gets frustrated too!! The lady in the check out is a recovering addict who is having to start over and learn to live again with her kids. She was abused by her man and he abused her kids too. She is struggling with depression and the strong urge to use everyday but is staying clean. This sometimes takes all her strength and she is wiped but needs groceries. She promised her kids if they were good and did their chores she would treat them to a dinner and dessert of their choice....pizza and twinkies! Hell ya! Those young girls have junkies for parents whose friends have abused them sexually since they were preteens. They don't know any better or they don't feel they are worth anything. See my point people?


Everyone has a story and you don't know it. So the next time someone is confiding in you about something, take heart and listen. You might learn something and any opportunity to see into someone's heart is a gift.

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Bonus Mom, Step Mom, or just Dad's wife????

Ya know recently I read a terrible article on blended families and the role of the step mother. I mean in my opinion it was terrible, by reading the comments there were some people who thought this chick was accurate. That to me is very unfortunate for those women because to my step daughters I am a "bonus mom" and they are my "bonus kids". I have loved and helped raise them since they were 2 and 3. I find it very absurd to say that you cannot love or feel a deep connection for another kid that is not genetically yours. I mean seriously what the hell?!! What a bunch of cynical bullshit and as we all know I love to discount bullshit so here is my list of just that.....LOL At first I was thinking that I would approach this as a mom who's own daughters had a step mom but then I thought I should really focus on my experience as a step mom. Yeah that makes more sense but for the record my daughters had one the most amazing women as a step mom and I get to call he...

Seeing truth through pain

It's no secret that most of us choose not to deal with a lot of thoughts and emotions that cause us pain. I honestly believe that some of that is healthy. Like our brains way of protecting us, too much negative emotion can be very damaging. So your brain will just compartmentalize the stuff until we are more ready to deal with it. It's amazing to me because this stuff never actually goes away our brain just hides it from us for a time, for lack of a better phrase. What an amazing brain we have right? I used to think that if I just ignore things long enough they will eventually go away. What actually happens is it all gets stored up and then one day your "vault" just bursts and all that yucky shit just comes streaming out. More often then not it will land on someone you love very much, and will hurt them in a way that you can never take back. There is nothing healthy about this process and its not until its too late that you realize exactly what has happened. ...

What is this forgiveness thing?

When someone wrongs you what is the first thing that you do? Get pissed, write them off, or kick their ass?! I know I personally tell them off and quite possibly never talk to them again. I think that there is something to be said for holding people accountable for being douche bags, and on the other hand there is something to be said for forgiveness.  I think the most important thing in this life that I have learned thus far is that people hurt people. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes its unintentional. Regardless of the method you have to remember that at some point in our lives we all have wronged someone is some way. Meaning that we are not without our own malice. The power of forgiveness is not to be underestimated. I have experienced some forgiveness both given and received. Both make your heart feel good but if you ask me giving forgiveness that has been denied for a long time, can really put your heart and mind in a very good place. Everyone wants an...