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Letter to my oldest daughter

     
 December 4th 1996 @ 7:26pm my life would change forever. I was now a mother, a mom, a parent. I stare into your beautiful blue eyes and know instantly what true love is. Even though I am exhausted from 13 hours of labor, I am rejuvenated the moment they put you on my chest. I cannot put into words all the emotions that entered my heart that day and every day since, but know this, they are immeasurable. I have never been so scared in my life. I had no idea what to do as a mom. I was over zealous, protective, panic stricken, and just plain lost. I know that you were sent to me with a divine purpose, and I have told you many times. You have a piece of my mom with you, which I believe is why you were so perfect for me. I wish she could have met you. She would have loved you, spoiled you, and been so proud of you.

      When I took you home for the first time I could not stop staring at you and you could not stop staring at me. We fell asleep many nights together heart beat to heart beat. You were my reason for getting up, for breathing, for making me a better person. You charmed every person who met you with your big blue eyes and amazing smile. When you started walking it was all I could do to keep up with you. You wanted to see everything and touch everything. When you started talking you were always asking me questions and talking to random people. You have always been an outgoing person and you have always been a very caring person. Even when you were just 2 years old you would share everything you had with anyone. You would look out for other babies and make sure they were ok. Your first day of kindergarten you told me it was going to be ok and see ya later. I think sometimes I needed you more than you needed me.

     I am truly blessed to have you as my daughter. I love everything about you, yes even the teenager parts. I love the way you are so passionate about your beliefs. I love the way you care for your siblings and always no matter what have their backs. I love your laugh. I love how you can take the most sucky moments and turn them around with your wacky sense of humor. Your love for animals is amazing. I love watching you play basketball. I love the sappy movies you make me watch. I could go on and on…..
     This earth is a better place with you in it. So many people’s lives are made better having known you. Know that you are priceless, irreplaceable, worthy, and absolutely necessary! I love all of my kids equally and with all my heart. However, you Courtney Ann Quadrato will always be my saving grace. My greatest blessing, because without you I hate to think the path I would have went down. You brought the most immense feeling of life to me. I will always have time for you. 

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